Coming back from a trip is stressful.
One of the hardest parts of going on vacation, is leaving people in charge of your things while you are gone. Watch as Whitney returns from her paradise to some crazy voice messages.
Transcript[]
Mallory: Hey Whitney, how's it going?
Whitney: Oh hi, Mallory! Hey! Thanks so much for picking me up from the airport.
Mallory: Oh, you're welcome, anytime. Oh, also I brought your phone.
Whitney: Oh, thank you! You know, leaving this at home was the best mistake I ever made.
Mallory: Yeah.
Whitney: Uh… anyway, is it okay if I check my messages right now?
Mallory: Oh, yeah, of course. I'm just gonna pull the car around.
Whitney: Okay. Thanks.
You have 95 new messages.
Whitney: Wow.
First message.
Matt: Hey Whitney, it's Matt. Hope you're having fun. Listen, I was just calling about your dog. I know you gave me very specific instructions on what to feed him, but I have a hypothetical question for you: What if maybe he got confused and ate all of your laundry detergent? And then vomited all over your bed? Hypothetically. Okay, thanks, bye.
Whitney: Ugh, Matt!
Next message.
Mallory: Carlos, my love, it's Veronica. Let's run away together, mi amor. You are beautiful, beautiful Nicaraguan man and I love you.
Next message.
Natalie: Whitney, this is your grandmother. I haven't seen you in a while and…
Message deleted. Next message.
Mallory: Carlos, I do not understand why you did not call me back. And who is that woman on your answering machine?! Call me back, you filthy traitor!
Next message.
Mallory: Carlos! What are you doing?! You are giving up the best chiquita you will ever…
Message skipped.
Mallory: Carlos? I am so sad with this sadness for you.
Message skipped.
Jason: Hi Whitney, this is doctor Alder. We just got the results of your biopsy back, and well, I don't want to be a negative Nancy, but things aren't <unintelligible>.
Whitney: What? No, no! Why?!
Message deleted.
Matt: Hey Whitney, it's Matt again. Remember how I left you a message yesterday saying that your dog hypothetically ate your laundry detergent? It wasn't hypothetical, and he's been foaming at the mouth and vomiting everywhere and I think that now he craves human blood. He's been hunting me all day. I barricaded myself in your closet, but I might not make it. I'm afraid, Whitney!
Next message.
James: Carlos, Carlos...
Whitney: Who the heck is Carlos?!
James: I wanted you to know that we have reached phase 3. I repeat, we have reached phase 3. And by that I mean I put the bomb where you wanted me to. Bye.
Next message.
Jason: Well, hello beautiful. You must be Carlos's little squeeze. You look nervous. You wanna know how I got this number?
Next message.
Jason: The game is up, Carlos! I finally found you! I tracked this numero down and to repay you for what you did to me and my familia, I burned your house to the ground. Now your home and your weirdly feminine throw pillows and your Justin Bieber posters are nothing but the ashes.
Next message.
Matt: He ate my hand! Your rabid beast of a dog ate my hand! Also, your house is on fire, what's up with that?
Mallory: Ready to go? I'm so excited to introduce you to my new boyfriend. His name's Carlos. I don't know what he does, but he makes a lot of money.
Trivia[]
- This is an adaptation on a sketch performed by BYU Divine Comedy in 2010.
- This sketch was uploaded on the same day as the episode aired on BYUtv.
- This is only the second sketch to have all ten Cast members in it, after Everything Sounds Nicer.
- However, only eight out of ten Cast members appear in this sketch.
- This is the first sketch in which at least one Cast member plays multiple roles.
- Mallory Everton, Natalie Madsen and James Perry have an appearing role and a voice-only role.
- This is the second time Jason Gray and Matt Meese can only be heard. The first sketches in which they had a voice-only role were Man of Interest and Generation Gap respectively.
- Most Cast members who appear in this sketch are extras. They walk around without interfering with the sketch.
- This is the first sketch in which members of the Featured Cast have voice-only roles, this being Natalie Madsen and James Perry.
| Season 1 Episode 6 | ||
|---|---|---|
| ~ Trip to the ER (transcript) ~ ~ Generation Gap (transcript) ~ ~ While You Were Out (transcript) ~ ~ Channel Surfing (transcript) ~ ~ Metropolitan Boy Scouts (transcript) ~ ~ Foreign Exchange (transcript) ~ | ||