Welcome Back Song

Welcome Back Song

Mallory: The last season on Studio C went pretty super dang well
At least we hoped that you weren't bored
There were vikings and angels and a lot of random deaths
And this season we can only promise more

Season Two
Everything will be perfect
In Season Two
Nothing will ever go wrong

Whitney: Jason will play twelve different ethnicities
and it will only be mildly offensive

Jason: And last season we didn't have much money
Now we're rolling in the benjamins

Jason: Yeah.
Mallory: Oh, my face.
Matt: What happened to the benjamins?
Natalie: Turns out we only had ones, we had to split it into nickels, so...

Season Two
Everything will be fancy
In Season Two
We'll use our green screen way more

Matt: Hey look, I'm skiing
Hey look, I'm giant size
I'm playing basketball
I'm doing jazzercise

Whitney: Matt, Matt, you got to stop, it looks like you're punching middle-aged women.
Matt: What? No, it's jazzercise.

Season Two
Season Two will blow your mind
In Season Two
We're gonna do a sketch with a live gorilla

Jared Shores: No, you're not.
Matt: With a donkey
Jared Shores: Way too dirty.
Mallory: With a domesticated cat
Jared Shores: Nope, nope.
Stephen: With a parrot
Jared Shores: No.
Natalie: With a dog
Jared Shores: Not gonna happen.
Whitney: With a beetle
Jared Shores: I don't care, you can have a beetle. You can do whatever you want with a beetle.
Whitney: I wasn't serious.

This season we will have more time for Jeremy to express himself
Come on Jeremy

Jason: In Season Two, we're gonna go in the audience a lot more. Yeah! Here we go! We're having a good time! Yeah! How is it- Woah! What are you doing?! I can't breathe! Why?! Help!

In Season Two
We'll have nine main cast members instead of ten
Yeah, and this year we will get to go backstage more
The whole cast is great on and off stage, so-

Mallory: Turn around, turn around, turn around.
Matt: What? What's happened?
Mallory: Jeremy is being arrested! Move! Move!
Jeremy: There's a box under my bed. Burn it. Burn it. Please. Burn it.

One of the most exciting things that you can expect to see
Is a special guest appearance from none other than the hilarious Bill Cosby

Matt: What? Who is this?
Mallory: That's not Bill Cosby? He tricked me…
Matt: Let's wrap this up.
Mallory: Okay.

Season Two
Season Two will change your life
Season Two
Season Two will cure lupis
Season Two
Season Two

Only in the original sketch on BYUtv:
Whitney: Bye, Jeremy.

Season 2 Episode 1
~ Welcome Back Song (lyrics) ~
~ Mr. Eckelstone Teaches Drivers Ed (transcript) ~
~ Downton Drama (transcript) ~
~ Is This a Dream (transcript) ~
~ Lady Shadow (transcript) ~
~ Laundry (transcript) ~
~ Operation Breakup (transcript) ~