The Mighty Name of a Warrior

The Mighty Name of a Warrior


Jeremy: At long last, my dear pupils, you have finished your training. It is time I give you your warrior names. For my most deadly student, I give the name of "Death Stalker", after the venomous scorpion.
James: Thank you, sensei.
Jeremy: For my most resourceful student, I give the name "Sidewinder", after the stealthy snake.
Whitney: Thank you, sensei.
Jeremy: And for my most prudent student, I give the name "Mr. Floofers".
Adam: Is... is that some sort of ferocious mongoose or something?
Jeremy: As a matter of fact, Mr. Floofers was the name of my master.
Adam: Oh, that is a great honor.
Jeremy: This is a picture of him.
Adam: Ah. I see where the name came from now.
Jeremy: Actually, sensei Floofers was named after a gerbil...
Adam: What
Jeremy: ...or possibly the wisps of hair from a balding man's head. It is a great honor... for you.
Adam: Thank you?

Jeremy: Quiet. It is time for your first assignments. I've designed each mission around your particular set of skills.
Adam: Okay. Oh, yes, finally something respectable! Assassinating an enemy of the state.
Jeremy: Whoops. It's actually like this.
Adam: You want me to kill a dog.
Jeremy: A diabetic dog. At least, he was twenty years ago.
Adam: Twenty years. Is he even still alive?
Jeremy: Maybe. He was last seen ten years ago and he was walking around in a dog wheelchair.
Adam: My target is a sick, crippled, dead dog?
Jeremy: A worthy foe indeed... for you.
Adam: Okay, yeah, uh, this is insulting.

Jeremy: Now take your weapons and go.
James: Yes, sensei.
Whitney: Yes, sensei.
Adam: Um, sensei, I did not get a weapon, uh...
Jeremy: Oh, yes. Your hands...
Adam: Oh!
Jeremy: ...are just hands.
Adam: Oh.
Jeremy: You do not get a weapon.
Adam: Oh.
Jeremy: Now, put this on. A perfect fit... for you.
Adam: Okay.