The Haunted Piano

The Haunted Piano


Jason: Hi, welcome to Piano Place! How can I help you today?
Whitney: Uh, we're looking for a family piano.
Jason: Okay.
Jeremy: Yeah, one that would be good for our kids to learn on.
Jason: All right, well, I think I have the perfect piano for you. Follow me.

Jason: All right, this is the Yamaha CLP-720. It's got fully weighted keys, over 32 sampled sounds and instruments, um, high end speakers.

Jason: And best of all, it retails for $7,500, but it's on sale today for just $350.
Jeremy: Wow! That's amazing! What do... What do you think, honey?
Whitney: Yeah, I mean, it's a steal at that price.
Jason: Well, I'm going to go run to my office really quick. Feel free to play it, and I'll be right back.
Jeremy: Okay.

Jeremy: Oh, it sounds really nice.
Whitney: Yeah, it does.

Stephen: I'm going to kill you.
Jeremy: Did the piano just...
Whitney: I think so.

Stephen: I'm going to kill you.
Jeremy: Um...
Whitney: Maybe we should go.
Jeremy: Yes.
Jason: How is everything going for you?
Whitney: Not good. This keyboard keeps threatening to kill my husband.
Jeremy: Yeah. I just played a scale and it said it was going to kill me?
Jason: Okay, sir. Don't be ridiculous. Watch.

Jason: See?
Jeremy: I'm not making it up! See?
Stephen: I know where you live.
Jeremy: See? That's weird, right?
Jason: Okay, well, why don't we play something together? Watch. Join in.

Stephen: You can't hide
From me, boy
I will find you
And I will kill you in your sleep
I'll eat your parents too
Too too
Too too
Too too

Jason: Okay, uh... I'm beginning to see the problem. Here, um... why don't we try a new sound and see if that fixes it. See, nice puppy sounds.
Jeremy: Okay.
Stephen: Woof woof, I'm going to kill your dog too.
Whitney: I don't like that.

Jason: Okay, let's try some strings, let's try some strings. Here we go.
Stephen: When I'm done with you, the only strings will be the ones they find you hanging from.
Jeremy: Okay, okay. I can't... I can't.
Jason: Okay, I'll throw in free headphones, that way only you can hear the death threats!
Jeremy: I don't want to hear any death threats!

Stephen: Hear this, boy.
Jeremy: Now it's just playing itself! That's it! We're out of here!
Whitney: Let's just get a guitar for our kids, like every other parent.

Jason: I'm never going to sell this piano.
Adam: We're looking for a piano.
Stephen: I'm going to kill you.
Adam: We'll take that one.