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Some say people from Texas can be overbearing with their state pride. And those guys from Rhode Island...

We all have our bias' when it comes to different states. Watch as two new employees have different ways of showing off their state pride in front of their new boss. What state are you from? Comment below.

Transcript[]

Matt: Hey boss, here are those files you wanted on the new guys we hired, Jason and Stephen.
Whitney: Oh, thank you.
Matt: Yeah.
Whitney: Great.
Matt: Something wrong?
Whitney: Well, Stephen is from Texas. And you just know he’s gonna come in here with his giant Texas flag and te... tell useless state facts and talk about the food and Rudy’s steak sauce...
Matt: Okay. Well, maybe he won’t be so bad.
Whitney: If he doesn’t say "Everything is bigger in Texas" within the first ten seconds he walks in here, I will give you twenty bucks.
Matt: Okay.

Whitney: Oh hey, you’re not wearing a state flag as a cape, you must be Jason.
Stephen: No, I’m Stephen.
Whitney: Oh.
Stephen: I just moved here from Texas. And everything is bigger...
Whitney: Here it comes.
Stephen: ...in this break room than in my last one. Wow. There’s a microwave.
Matt: Thank you.
Stephen: Oh, I left my drink on my desk. It was nice meeting y’all.
Whitney: Did you hear how he said "y'all"? How obnoxious was that?
Matt: You’re reaching.
Whitney: I know. He’s actually not that bad. And you know the other guy won’t be annoying because he’s from...

Jason: Rhode Islaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand. Yeah. Wooo.
Whitney: Well, at least he doesn’t have a flag.
Jason: You mean this flag?
Whitney: What?!

Jason: So how many Rhode Islanders we got in the building?
James: Uh...
Jason: What?! Are you serious?! Are you kidding me right now?! Come on!
Matt: Well, I’ve been to New York.
Jason: You’ve been to New York? And not Rhode Island? How is that even possible, man?
Whitney: Well, New York is a lot bigger and more important than Rhode Island.
Jason: Yeah well, New York may be the Big Apple, but Rhode Island is the apple seed. Because everything’s smaller in Rhode Island, baby. Hahaha.
Whitney: Those seeds are poisonous.
Jason: You’re poisonous. With that attitude. Yup. Hey dude, where are you from?
James: Uh... Alaska.
Jason: 425.8.
James: Huh?
Jason: Yeah, that’s how many times my state can fit in your state. Oooh. Yeah. How does that make you feel?
James: It’s uh... it’s big.
Jason: Yeah, bet it makes you feel huge, doesn’t it?
James: Uh... yeah.
Jason: Yeah. I’m thirsty, thank you.
James: Oh.

Jason: Is this filtered water? No, no. You see, in Rhode Island, we don’t have those fancy things like rivers or mountains or plants. We drink water the way nature intended: with motor oil and acid rain. Fortunately, I brought both. Hmm, so much better. Thank you.
Matt: Well, Rhode Island sounds like a very interesting place, you’ll have to tell us about it some time.
Jason: Sounds like what you need, is the Rhode Island State Rap. Hit it!

Jason: Yeah.
Whitney: Okay.
Jason: Yeah.

Jason:
You ready to learn about the greatest state, of all the states, in the United States?
Well, it’s coming at you.

Listen up, all you haters don’t be dense
The world’s greatest capital is Providence
People always judge and trying to give me a label
Well, everybody knows the state tree’s the red maple

Whitney: Okay, let’s just go, come on.

Jason: Now I’m gonna sing about minerals

Whitney: Okay, no. Go off the table! Cut the music! Where is it coming from?! Okay, down! Off the table! Nobody cares where you’re from, okay! You are fired!
Jason: You know what, I don’t need you. The thirteen colonies will rise again.
Whitney: And take your stupid flag with you!

Jason: Did you just throw that with your left hand? Ooh, are you left-handed?
Whitney: Yeah. Are you?
Jason: Ooh.

Southpaw, southpaw
League of lefties
Rawr rawr rawr

Jason: Left hand!
Whitney: Boom! Oh, syke!
Jason: What’s up?!
Whitney: Only for lefties!

Whitney: Hey, they’ll clean this up, don’t worry.
Jason: Yeah.
Whitney: So what do you think about scissors?
Jason: Don’t get me started.

Trivia[]

  • This is the last sketch of Season 1 Episode 1.
  • As was usual at the time, the sketch was uploaded on the same day the episode aired on BYUtv.
  • This is the second song featured in the episode, after TMNT Dance, but this is the first song sung by one of the Cast members.
    • The song in this sketch has a duration of less than 60 seconds.
  • Natalie Madsen is the only original cast member who does not appear in this sketch.
  • This is the first (and only) sketch of Season 1 Episode 1 to be written by Jason Gray.
    • Because of Jason Gray writing this sketch, all four original Main Cast members have written at least one sketch featured in this episode.
  • This is the fifth sketch to be directed by Julian Riley.
  • Mallory Everton is not credited in the description, but she appears in this sketch, as the fifth sketch of the episode in which she is featured.
    • It is also the fifth sketch in which Matt Meese plays a role.
  • This is the only sketch featured in the episode in which Stacey Harkey and James Perry appear.
Season 1 Episode 1
~ TMNT Dance (transcript) ~
~ The Doorstep Part 1 (transcript) ~
~ The Doorstep Part 2 (transcript) ~
~ Bashful E-mail (transcript) ~
~ Reference Check (transcript) ~
~ State of Mind (transcript) ~
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