Mallory: All right, and that pretty much covers the entire syllabus. So if you have any questions…
Matt: Good afternoon, professor. Please forgive my truancy, a well-meaning female student found me napping in the library and mistakenly placed me in the daycare facility.
Mallory: Um… anyway, if any of you have any questions, please refer to the class TA, I'd like to introduce you to…
Matt: Evelyn deWinter.
Whitney: Hello Spencer. I must say I'm surprised to see you here. It would appear that the world is as small as our tiny bodies.
Matt: I wish I could say I was pleased to see you, Evelyn. Time, it seems, does not heal all wounds.
Whitney: Oh come, Spencer, that was months ago. Nearly half our lifetimes. Much has changed. I see you've been weaned off the pacifier?
Matt: I've put childish things behind me, Evelyn. Perhaps it's time you did the same.
Whitney: I've forgotten how much I've missed your clever wit.
Jason: Spencer, I don't think she's over you, man.
Matt: Indeed. It would appear that my animal magnetism is both blessing and curse.
Whitney: I am truly sorry about the... I'm sorry, larger person, could you move your arm out of the way? It's terribly inconvenient to have a conversation with.
Adam: I… I'm sorry.
Whitney: Yes, okay. Wait, are you trying to put moves on me now or what?
Adam: Oh no! No, no, no!
Matt: Please. Aside. Oh my goodness, are you still working on this problem? I could have solved that in like the third trimester.
Whitney: As I was saying, I am truly sorry about the way things ended between us, Spencer. Perhaps, after class, you and I could discuss it over a bottle of formula?
Matt: There is nothing to discuss, vile temptress.
Whitney: Oh, Spencer. Sweet, naive Spencer. You know, when you've lived a bit longer, you'll come to realize that the world is not as black and white as you make it out to be.
Jason: Wait, Spencer, she's older than you?
Matt: Yes, by nearly a month. That didn't stop her from pursuing me though, she's a well-known cougar.
Whitney: You know, Spencer, if I were in your adorable baby shoes, I'd crawl a little more carefully. I have the power to make things very unpleasant for you.
Matt: A power which I shall be most happy to remove. Professor, I'm afraid I can no longer take this class. I hope I have not caused any inconvenience. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see if I can still get into that half-credit pilates class.
Whitney: This isn't over, Spencer. You and I are not done.
Matt: Till our next encounter then, miss DeWinter.
|Season 1 Episode 8|
| ~ Prop Switch (transcript) ~|
~ Spencer Goes to Class (transcript) ~
~ How Are You Feeling (transcript) ~
~ Third Wheel Song (lyrics) ~
~ Weighty Matters (transcript) ~
~ Shoulder Devil (transcript) ~