Jason: Oh hey, you must be the new guy?
Jason: I'm Jason.
James: I'm James.
Jason: Is this your first semester?
James: Uh.. no, I'm… I'm a senior.
Jason: Ah nice, me too.
Jason: Yeah, our other roommate is a freshman.
James: Oh, so… he's a young guy, huh?
Jason: Yeah, well, he actually skipped a few years, because he was so smart. It's made him a little socially awkward, but he's cool.
James: Oh, yeah. Hey, I have two younger brothers, so I know what that means.
Jason: Yeah well, James, he's really, really young.
Matt: Good afternoon, James. I'm so pleased you could join us. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Spencer.
Jason: Shake his hand!
James: Uhm… uh… pleased to meet you.
James: He's… he's got a good grip.
Jason: Yeah. He really latches onto that finger.
Matt: James, you must be weary from the exertion of moving apartments. Do you require help with your luggage? I, of course, lack the muscle development to lift anything other than a binky, but… perhaps Jason could…?
Jason: Oh, yeah. I'll go get your stuff. You guys have fun.
James: Oh. Oh wait, Jason, hold on, don't...don't leave.
Matt: Come join me, James. Let us get to know one another. That's nice.
James: Yeah. So uh… Spencer, Jason says you're really smart.
Matt: He flatters me. I try not to discuss it too much, I fear that it would alienate me from the other students. I wish to blend in as much as possible.
James: Right. So, what are you studying?
Matt: Pre-med and business. I know, it seems excessive, but I thought it might make me more attractive to the ladies. They seem to want a man who can provide the comforts of life. Personally, all I look for in a woman is a strong maternal instinct.
James: That makes sense.
Matt: So what are your interests, James?
James: Oh, uh… ju-... oh.. I've gotten into cooking lately. Oh, I found this amazing recipe the other day, I should cook it for you guys sometime.
Matt: Ah, that's very generous of you. I'm afraid though, that I shall not be able to digest solid foods for at least another three months.
James: Oh yeah, sorry, uhm… jeez...uh… this… uhm… that was insensitive of me to talk about… food.
Matt: Not at all. James, forgive me, but you seem uncomfortable. Does the age gap between us bother you?
James: (sounds between a "Yeah" and a "Nah")
Matt: Is is my small hands?
James: Nah, nah. It's good, it...this is cool, it's... good.
Matt: Is it the diaper?
Jason: Oh good, you guys are bonding, that's great.
Jason: Spencer, what are you doing? Just because you learned how to walk one day, doesn't mean you're an acrobat. Come here.
Matt: Well, you're quite right, Jason, no need to be a hero. Thank you. Forgive me if I'm a little heavy, I've gained a few ounces. Actually Jason, could you bring me to James?
James: Oh yeah, I should uh…
James: I should… I got...I gotta put my stuff…
Matt: Where are you going?
James: I need to get in my other box…
Matt: Look at me, James.
James: Just...just...just..uhm… in case…
James: In case I never wanna come back here.
Matt: Look me in the eyes.
James: Yeah, which room is mi-
Matt: Look at my unblinking eyes. I want you to feel welcome here, James.
Matt: Hug me.
Matt: Yes, you're very warm. Like the womb.
Matt: I nearly wet myself.
Jason: Two hands. Hold the neck.
James: Yeah. Uhm… Jason, I don't know… I don't know if I can do this. I know… I like how you live like…
Matt: Can someone get the door? Ah, I believe my guests have arrived, Jason.
Jason: Oh. Yeah, I'll go get the door.
James: I'm just gonna put you...down on the…
Whitney: Oh hi Spencer!
Natalie: Hi Spencer!
Matt: Hello ladies.
Whitney: Oh, is this your friend?
Matt: Yes, this is James.
Natalie: Ah hi, you're both cute.
James: Uh… yeah, he's my roommate.
Whitney: Oh, you both are so good together.
Natalie: Look what I've got for you! It's so cute!
|Season 1 Episode 6|
| ~ Trip to the ER (transcript) ~|
~ Generation Gap (transcript) ~
~ While You Were Out (transcript) ~
~ Channel Surfing (transcript) ~
~ Metropolitan Boy Scouts (transcript) ~
~ Foreign Exchange (transcript) ~