FANDOM


Click here to return to the page about the sketch.

Evil Memory Lapse04:39

Evil Memory Lapse

Transcript:

Matt: Then after that we will plan the assassination of… Blegh!
Whitney: It seems I've finally caught up with you.
Matt: It would seem we meet again.
Whitney: For the last time, it seems.
Matt: Seemingly. I have no idea who this person is, will you look into it and get back to me quickly, please? Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.

Matt: So…
Whitney: You know why I'm here.
Matt: Of course I do. You're here for...
Whitney: The money.
Matt: The money. You're here for the money, and I have it. Here.
Whitney: I thought it was hidden in a Swiss bank account?
Matt: It is…was! Until I made it not that way.
Whitney: So, yet another surprising and diabolical twist from the evil mastermind. You've outdone yourself, professor Murdock.
Matt: Yes, it seems I pulled the wall over your eyes yet again, miss… blegh.
Whitney: Well no matter, I still have the upper hand, so long as I possess this!
Matt: You know, I'm not even sure if I want that.
Whitney: Don't play the fool, professor. Do you realize how many people you've killed in your efforts to obtain this?
Matt: Well, it's not like I keep a running tally. Five…?
Whitney: Ten thousand.
Matt: That is more than five.
Whitney: How many more lives must you ruin before you come to reason?

Matt: Tell me, have you undergone some kind of plastic surgery recently? Acid thrown on your face?
Whitney: Do you honestly not recognize me?
Matt: Well…
Whitney: Wait, here.

Matt: No, that made it worse.
Whitney: What?!
Matt: Well, I'm sorry, I have a poor memory for faces. And you.
Whitney: But… we've been arch foes...we've been arch foes for nearly seventeen years!
Matt: Really?
Whitney: You killed my father.
Matt: On purpose, or like I accidently backed my car over him?
Whitney: You strapped a bomb to his chest.
Matt: That does sound like me.

Whitney: So you have no idea why I'm here?
Matt: Well, I've put a few things together. You want some money, and I apparently want that tiki-man.
Whitney: Well, I'm not giving him to you now.
Matt: What? Why not? I don't know why, but I want it.
Whitney: No! It's insulting how many lives you've ruined, and you don't even have the decency to remember why.
Matt: I do feel like a tool for that.
Whitney: And to think that I used to love you.
Matt: Wait, back up a moment.
Whitney: We used to have something special.
Matt: Really? Why did it end? Was it because of your current haircut, or...?

Matt: That was out of line.
Whitney: That's it, I'm going to destroy it.
Matt: No madam, please, be reasonable. I'm willing to negotiate.
Whitney: Fine. Tell me my name and it's yours.
Matt: Cynth… May… Bri… Jemima.
Whitney: Dang it!
Matt: Really? Jemima?
Whitney: Shut up!
Matt: Okay.

Matt: Ah, doctor Gray. The situation in well in hand. Here, see if we can use this for something evil. A lawn gnome, I don't know.
Whitney: It's good to see you again, John.
Jason: Do I know you?
Whitney: I am your mother!
Matt: You have your mother's hair.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.