Evil Asides

Evil Asides


Matt: Guys, I know I've already apologized like twenty times, but I am so sorry I got us lost on our hike.
Whitney: And that you told Jason you'd catch him when he jumped out of that tree?
Matt: Sorry, buddy.
Whitney: Hey, guys, this lady that we're following seems really creepy. I don't know if we should trust her.
Matt: Well, she… we don't have a choice, Whit. She's our only way back to the main road.
Whitney: There's just… there's something off about her.
Jason: Yeah, I can't put my finger on it, but she's weird.
Whitney: Yeah.

Mallory: Come on, come on. Don't dawdle.
Matt: Um, miss, we never got a chance to thank you for helping us.
Mallory: Please, no need to thank me...No need to thank me at all.
Whitney: See, that right there, did that not seem weird to you guys?
Jason: Yeah, and the creepy music didn't help.
Whitney: Yeah.

Mallory: Alright, you all sit down. This boy will feel better with some food in him. I'll see if I can make him a meal… A meal for the worms. Ha ha ha ha.
Whitney: What?
Mallory: What?

Whitney: Matt, I'm serious. I really think this is a bad idea. We should go!
Matt: Whitney, Jason really needs help, and besides, she's going to get food! I ate like a s'more for breakfast.
Mallory: Here we are, found these berries, just apply them liberally to his ankle. It'll ease the pain… The pain of death.

Whitney: Get rid of the berries!
Matt: Okay.
Jason: Whitney's right, we can not stay here, Matt.
Matt: Whitney, I don't want to sound dramatic, but if we need to make a quick getaway, Jason is pretty much dead weight at this point.
Whitney: What?
Jason: What?
Matt: Nothing, buddy, have some berries.
Whitney: Matt!
Matt: What?

Jason: Do you guys have any water? I'm really thirsty.
Mallory: Oh, yes! Here we are. Drink it up. Yes. Yes...It'll be the last thing you do.
Whitney: Excuse me!
Mallory: Yes?
Whitney: We can hear you.
Mallory: Oh, I was just talking to the critters in this tree. I was going to catch them… After I end each one of your wretched little lives.
Whitney: Okay, she's lost all subtlety at this point!
Matt: Leave them!
Whitney: Okay! Bye Jason!

Natalie: Ugh, grandma. We have been looking everywhere for you! Let's get you home!
Mallory: Yes, alright, dear.
Natalie: I'll just take…
Mallory: After we get home, we can eat pudding and watch Madlock.
Natalie: Sure grandma. We've been calling you, and calling you. Did you change your phone to that creepy ringtone again?

Natalie: Hello? Yeah, we found her.

Season 1 Episode 9
~ Emergency Pitch Meeting (transcript) ~
~ Ditching Dobby (transcript) ~
~ 18th Century Man's Man (transcript) ~
~ Bane's Birthday Party (transcript) ~
~ Evil Asides (transcript) ~
~ Bad Timing: The Musical (transcript) ~